FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

A couple years back, I did a crazy thing. I quit a perfectly good job and drove my ass around the whole country going to football games. This didn’t happen on a whim. It was an irrepressible urge. I wanted to see the whole country, and there was no better way to do it than via college football. But I needed to meet the fans from around the nation. The idea had lodged itself in various states of my consciousness for six years before finally compelling me to action.

I intended the adventure to be focused on the tradition inherent to college football. I wanted to know why it was so much more important to us than for fans of other sports. But after just a few games, I realized that tradition wasn’t as coveted as I thought it was. It got a whole lot of lip service, but fans had short memories, and their worldview was often not aligned with their stated respect for tradition. This surprised and disappointed me. I learned that for most fans, the desire to fully embrace tradition will always be overwhelmed by devotion to the program. This is true even if it requires self-delusion. We have always been at war with Eastasia.

So it was that one of the overarching themes of my trip became the inherent battle between tradition and progress. They are diametrically opposed, especially as it relates to this wonderful sport. The battle kept surfacing, whether it was Bowls versus Playoffs, SEC fans rooting for their bitterest rivals in bowl games, or students tacking a “Go Blue!” onto the end of “The Victors.” (This still feels appallingly wrong to me.) Even my choice to save time by speeding along Interstate 40 instead of leisurely getting my kicks on Route 66 showed that progress often has its place.

But my goodness, there are limits. If the reports are true, it is 80% certain that Michigan and Ohio State will be placed in separate divisions, and probably play in the middle of the season. Doc Saturday has clearly outlined all the reasons this is stupid, so I won’t even get into the rationale. Stupid is the word. Stupid beats out ill-conceived, reckless, or any other depressing word you want to apply. This is a stupid, stupid idea.

These men agree. With each other.

So what’s the big deal? Plenty of important people do stupid things all the time. As I said, tradition in college football is sadly overrated and becoming more so every year. And as much as many fans may dislike this erosion, they accept it because it’s still the best game in the world. But there are bridges too far. If the bloggers are any indication of where fans stand, the followers of Michigan and Ohio State are presenting a united front. For the core fans, there’s no question this stupid decision will sour them. For the casual ones (read: incremental dollars), the only benefit is that rare and surely elusive rematch, a meager benefit that will be more than balanced out by The Game no longer being The Game.

There’s something really big at stake here. The decision has not yet been made official. Every other change we’ve seen, at least you could argue both sides for fans and players alike. The fans have spoken clearly this time. Not all change is good, especially when it’s stupid. But will anybody care what we have to say? Will anyone actually listen? Are they not only poised to make a stupid decision, but ignore those who have tried desperately to set them straight? The Big Ten fashions itself to be the conference of stalwart tradition, keeping the Rose Bowl stashed away in its favorite jewelry box, not to be shared. Yet, what greater tradition is there than The Game? If the fans will not be listened to now, they will never be listened to about anything. This is the most extreme case we will ever see. This is a litmus test for the sport. Does tradition matter in the slightest? If Delaney moves The Game, then it is dead, and we might as well start having fanstasy drafts and Budweiser hot seats and “He Hate Me” on the backs of uniforms.

Seriously, this is the guy in charge. OK, well maybe he just looks like him.

What I finally discovered was that my big road trip was not about blind devotion to all things sacred. It was about what makes us fans in the first place. That’s a much longer conversation (you can read the book if I ever finish it). The gist of it is that we get to go back to college a few Saturdays a year. And we like going back to college because it was one of the greatest times in our lives. We adore The Game, even when it treats us badly, because it has given us the highest of highs and the lowest of lows but rarely anything in between. It is supreme, thrilling victory, or utter devastation. Every year. This result simply cannot happen in October.

Regarding the importance of tradition, I eventually found acceptance and embraced the difference between me and (some of) you. And, much later, Lloyd Carr even convinced me that we should have a playoff. Perhaps I’m not such a nostalgic codger after all. I’ve come around a bit. Really, I have. Go ahead, kids. Play in my yard. Just try not to burn down my fucking garage while you’re at it.

Other voices from the choir:
Brian talks sense
Ramzy correctly puts things in perspective
M-Zone comes out of retirement!
Add your name to the Facebook page here. It's (quite literally) the least you can do.

UPDATE: Some useful e-mail addresses here. Send a courteous note or sit on your hands. Don't mail theses people a dickish rant just 'cause I deployed the f-word (HT: M-zone):
Dave Brandon (U-M AD): DABran@umich.edu
Gene Smith (OSU AD): Smith.5407@osu.edu
Mary Sue Coleman (U-M President): PresOff@umich.edu
Gordon Gee (OSU President): Gordon.Gee@osu.edu
Jim Delany (Big 10 Commissioner): JDelany@bigten.org

Road Games College Pick 'Em (aka The Big Ten Den)

We're just a month away from kickoff, and that means a reprise of the annual tradition of Pick 'Em. Pick the winning teams across 20 games or so each week and garner glory and admiration.

How to play? Simple!

1) Go here. Sign up.

2) Click the "Join Group" button

3) Enter:
Group ID#: 1837
Password: goblue

4) Talk some trash on the message board

5) Once the games begin, please at least try to beat the dude who lives in Argentina (me)

...any questions, drop me a line.

The Well Worn Practice of Self-Delusion

I’ve been through this before. Lots of times. In your heart of hearts you feel things that don’t make sense. You approach the situation with your brain of brains. You say, “Man, this looks pretty bad, if we win it will be a miracle.” And if the game were to happen right then, you’d stay in your brain of brains and robotically accept the results.

But time passes. You read an optimistic report from a blogger who lives in his heart of hearts all day long, and he punches a small crack in the façade. Once you pry open the door to optimism, the train has left the station and won’t stop until you reach “We’re gonna do it” land. It happened to me again.

Aside from their red-card aided loss to Serbia, Germany had been the clear top dog in this World Cup. Argentina had only played one decent opponent. Still, with Messi, with Tevez, even with Maradona who had appeared to have learned a thing or two about coaching soccer, many were picking them to win the game. It didn’t take much for them to convince me. I already had punched that crack in the façade myself. In soccer, everyone always has a chance. You never really close that door.

Towards the end of my big road trip, I returned to Ann Arbor for The Game against Ohio State. Michigan fans had been enduring an ungainly year, one that began with losses to Appalachian State and Oregon. Yet, despite it all, the team had a chance for the Rose Bowl if they could just beat Ohio State. The Buckeyes had lost to Illinois; they weren’t an unstoppable force. But Hart and Henne were both playing hurt, and there was no reasonable way to believe that Michigan would come through.

But as the week progressed, I started to believe. More than anything, after driving 14,181 miles I felt like I deserved it. How illogical is that? Of course I was dead wrong. It was one of the most boring football games I’ve ever seen, a 17-3 punt-fest in which Michigan never remotely threatened to win. I deserved nothing, despite my self-convincing.

When you’re winning, a soccer match takes an eternity. When you’re losing, they fly by. Argentina's 4-0 defeat was done in a flash. People here could accept defeat, but 4-0. 4-0!?! It ripped the heart out of the country. When the game ended, the city was dead quiet. Even the birds and the breeze were in hiding.

That’s what sucks about self-delusion. It always comes to an end, but there’s no way to know ahead of time. I really don’t know squat about soccer, and still managed to convince myself that victory would be ours. What is wrong with me? Nothing that's not wrong with everyone who wants his team to win I suppose. SI's Joe Posnanski did the same thing while hoping for a compassionate LeBron.

As night fell, Buenos Aires began to shake off the stink of failure. People left their homes to have a coffee, talking meekly of things other than futbol. I found myself in a taxi with a driver who was not so shy. "That was an embarrassment! Argentina should never have lost that game!" I told him that was 4-0, and Germany has been the best team so far. "No. Argentina is better, and should have won!" I must say I admired the man for the willful optimism even after such a stark result. Maybe self-delusion can be used to obscure reality instead of making it sting. But in the face of such a strong reaction, I had nothing much to say. I was as silent as the birds during the afternoon.

Crazy for the Copa

Alternate title: Loco por los goles

If I were still in the US, I am sure I would be paying attention to the World Cup. In a week or so. At least some of the games. But as I happen to be living outside of North America, my new neighbors are doing their best to infect me with their fever. Obviously, one of the perks of moving to Argentina was being able to live in a futbol-crazed land during the World Cup. We're still a week away, and the hype is living up to, well, the hype.

The event taken over the entire city. The best analogy I can think of is if the Super Bowl were to go on for a month and if two thirds of the league was invited to compete. But only if we had waited four years since the last one. Two months ago my male coworkers started drawing up scenarios on whiteboards, and getting excited over potential matchups like North Korea vs South Korea, and "colonial combat" like USA/England, Brazil/Portugal, and Chile/Spain. About ten days ago, the women became infected, too. This commercial is alarmingly accurate:


Argentina just celebrated its Bicentennial a couple of weeks ago. The entire city was decked out in flags and ribbons. Argentina being Argentina, many buildings didn't get their act together very quickly and hastily draped the Celeste y Blanco just a day or two before the event. Lucky for them, there is reason to leave the decorations up. This isn't like keeping your Christmas lights blinking until Easter. If anything, the purpose is far more immediate now. Recent studies have shown that the country's populous is in a better mood and has more optimism about the nation's future during the tournament.

Though opinions abound, nobody really has any idea how the Argentine team is going to do. Members of the international press have universally labeled them the "most intriguing" team in the tournament. They're right.

Let's review the backstory in brief. Argentina has some of the best players in the world, including the reigning Golden Boot winner, Lionel Messi. Couple that with a long history of success, and anything less than reaching the semifinals is an automatic letdown. But Team Argentina had been seriously struggling with disappointing performances in World Cup qualifiers and friendlies alike. This led the AFA to take the desperate decision of putting the squad in the hands of God, aka Diego Maradona. Maradona, as you may know, is one of the most famous footballers in history, and a national treasure. He's also had trouble with drugs and never proven himself to be a successful coach. Nevertheless, to most Argentines, he is surely a deity, and in the city of Rosario, there is even a religion dedicated to him. The decision was risky, but nearly all Argentines were supportive at the time. He is, after all, the man who did this:


But Argentina didn't fare much better under Maradona's watch, and only barely qualified for the tournament. This isn't quite like Duke nearly missing the field of 64, but it's close. After locking up a spot on the last day of play, Maradona made some pointed comments to the media at his press conference. "For those who doubted me," he declared, "you can blow me." This led to a two-month suspension enforced by FIFA, and further doubt in his abilities to lead the team.

Locals, however, have been eager to put the blame for the teams failures on the players, most pointedly at Lionel Messi. Too many times to count, I have heard people claim that he tries for Barcelona, but for Argentina, "no hace nada." Even though I'm just a layman, it is clear that when Messi has the ball, the rest of his teammates simply stand around watching. Think Kobe Bryant in 2007. I may not be the ultimate expert in futbol yet, but even the best players can't take on the other 11 by themselves.

It's obvious to me that the team is disorganized and unstructured. Plus, it's not like we don't have data. Messi scored 34 goals in roughly as many games for Barcelona in the last season. If he suddenly can't get the ball into the net, is it that he has lost his will to compete or that he is being misused? There is a simple answer to this question. But, admitting as much would mean believing in a fallible God. Nobody is ready to do that, no matter how outrageous the press conference.

Will this all end in hugs and smiles? Time will tell.

At this point, no one knows what will happen, save for one simple idea. If Argentina does well, Maradona will say and do something interesting. If they fail spectacularly, he will say and do something interesting. He has already promised to run through the streets of Buenos Aires naked if they win the whole thing, an entirely idle threat unless he finds a way to make the team to play better. At this point I can say that I have become infected with the same fever as the rest of the people living in this fine city. And at this moment my lack of knowledge doesn't even matter. I don't know what's going to happen, either. But I am counting down the days until it does.

Down in a hole

Somewhere in South Carolina, a close friend of mine is digging a hole. He's tearing up his own back yard - a small part of it at least - and he's digging. He's doing this for a dramatic gesture. He will bundle his well-worn Michigan jersey in plastic and place it in that hole. He vows not to collect it until Michigan makes a BCS bowl game.

At Mgoblog, Brian has given his last word (for now) in defense of Rich Rodriguez. Everything he writes is on the money in this complicated situation.

I love Lloyd Carr. The man took over our program at a really rough time and went out and won a national championship. He is a local hero in many ways, a Michigan man, and someone whose character should be admired not simply because of his ardent beliefs, but because in many ways he brings out the best in college football. He was not simply a coach, but viewed himself as a teacher. He believed in the game and believed in his players. Plus, he's the man who convinced me that we do indeed need a playoff. That said...

I think when people talk about the end of the Carr era, it's important to keep one major factor in mind: Mike Hart. He was a three-star recruit from the middle of nowhere New York that put the entire team on his back for four straight years. Sure, there was other talent, but after Braylon Edwards left, this wasn't exactly a stacked team. Outside of 2006, the defense was a mess, but Hart kept Michigan in every game he played. Remember in 2005 when all of Michigan fandom said "We have no chance to beat Michigan State!"? Hart came back healthy for the game and saved the day with 218 yards. We can all list a dozen games where he was the difference for Michigan. Appalachian State was supposed to be included, but, well, that thing about the abysmal defense. The Mike Hart teams won in spite of themselves and largely because he gave us a chance in every game where he was healthy. But there's a reason he never beat Ohio State, and it has little to do with him. The cupboard wasn't totally bare, but someone had been removing items when we weren't looking. Hart just made it seem like it was still relatively stocked.

For years, many people said, "We gotta fire Lloyd Carr!" My response was always the same: "OK, who do you want?" There was never an answer for this from the haters. Those who want Rodriguez axed don't have an answer either. Nearly every big-time program who fires their coach to start a new regime goes through this. The conventional wisdom is that Carr tried to put his assistants in place to take over. He gave them more responsibility in 2007. They failed. An easy transition was impossible. If we'd hired Les Miles, Marty Schottenheimer, or George S Patton, we would have had very similar problems.

Not our coach

The overriding obvious idea here is that this really sucks. As Ray Liotta said in Goodfellas, "This is the bad time."What my friend in South Carolina is doing is really important, but there's one aspect that is the most crucial part of the gesture. He's putting that jersey in plastic (please double-bag it, Roberto). He's not laying Michigan to rest. This is not a burial. This is a time capsule for himself. When he retrieves it some November day, he should buy it a bouquet of roses first (or a sack of doritos or whatever bowl-themed present is most apt). Then he should hug it high and tight like Ennis Del Mar.

I've identified my local futbol team here: Independiente. It's the third most popular team in Argentina, and has one of the richest traditions. The two most popular are Boca and River. Between them, they actually claim over 80% of the fans which is stupid, but Argentines generally like to follow the pack. Every team has nicknames they call themselves (in River's case: Los Millionarios) and names that everyone else calls them (River's: Las Gallinas (the female chickens)). Independiente used to be great, but since I first arrived here, they have been sucky to crappy. This season, they are actually playing well - winning games they shouldn't and playing above their talent. It seemed that Michigan was going the same direction, but perhaps that will have to wait until next year (ojalá!) I bring this up because the opposing team's nicknames for the Independiente fans is Los Amargos. This means, "The Bitter People." Translation - always negative, all the time. If that doesn't fit with the stereotype of a Michigan fan, then I'm Cristina Kirchner. I certainly didn't plan it that way, but maybe as Michigan fans, we're destined to suffer.

Not a Michigan fan - yet

I've been playing ultimate frisbee down here. Our team hasn't lost since March and yesterday we won the second championship in the history of the country. I bring this up because we weren't always such a dominant team. In fact, when we lost those two games in March, one team thrashed us 15-7. Since then we've been rolling. Why? We got mad, and we put in the practice. This experience will season these players, hopefully for the better. As much as this hurts us as fans, it's ten times worse for them. They're very young. Nobody can say they're not trying. They've come a long way from Toledo, even as they are sure to lose these last two games. We thought last season was the bottom. Really, we're looking at it right now, at least in terms of our patience and experience as fans. If Michigan pulls out a miracle in the last two weeks, it is a corner turned. And if not, you can't tell me this team isn't going to be more prepared next season.

So bury the jersey well, my friend. I expect it won't be ready to be dug up until November of 2011. By then it will be properly seasoned and in need of a big hug.

UPDATE: Maize N Brew chimes in

On Deals

Hey, Argentina, I thought we had an agreement. I was going to move to a country where they care about soccer, and you were going to play in the 2010 World Cup - and play well. This is not only embarrassing, I'm feeling totally ripped off. For those uninitiated, Argentina has never missed a world cup, but after losing to Brazil and Paraguay in succession this week, they have currently positioned themselves out of the tournament. There are two games remaining, but Argentina does not control its own destiny. They have to win them both and hope that Ecuador loses one.

They boast one of the two best players on the planet and a coach who was one of the greatest of all time. But this is not a team. Every player seems reluctant to give up the ball. Maybe they're all so good they think they can win games themselves. but this isn't working. It's easy for people to blame Diego Maradona, and it's clear that he's not helping the team win. But these problems existed before he arrived.

A man at the end of his tenure...?

As I said, I feel cheated. There's still an outside chance that FIFA will make some kind of exception or that Argentina can make its way in via the open slot. But at this point, nobody in this country has any confidence that such a thing will happen. They're beyond crestfallen. They're disgusted.

...this guy thinks so.

Michigan's another story. We had our own agreement. There would be ups and downs in equal measure, but the team would always be at least pretty good and I would definitely have a game to watch in January. Last year, well, we all know what happened. Then again, I'm the one who moved away. For me to whine any more about 2008 is like complaining that the girl you dumped is dating some cheesy schmo. But if we're talking about disgusted fans, it's hard not to think about what happened last year.

But then this happened:


And then this:

And suddenly... we got us a football team again. I'm tempted to check my expectations, thinking about the miracle against Wisconsin last year. It's so hard to tell early in the season what is real and what is not. That result turned out to be decidedly not real. Those who said Michigan was lucky to win were correct. And Wisconsin soon proved to be a team somewhere between mediocre and lousy.

But last week, the excitement returned. As a Michigan fan, you expect such moments. You've been promised them over the years. You get to thinking you deserve them, and maybe you do. Relief quickly turned to joy and anticipation for the next game.

Part of the deal is that Michigan never rolls over against Notre Dame. I don't think the Irish have ever blown us out, at least not in the last fifteen years. The Notre Dame fans I talk to think that they're going to cruise through this game, but that's par for the course in South Bend. Overconfidence goes with the territory. That said, they looked pretty impressive against Nevada.

I've lost all hope for Argentina. Our deal is broken. But then again, if Michigan wins tomorrow, it's clear that the fan contract is wholly renewed. There's still time for Argentina to get their act together, though I'm not ready to enter any pact with Maradona still in charge. Either way, he's likely gone. I just hope that Michigan sends Charlie Weis to join him in early retirement. VAMOS AZUL!

Road Games College Pick 'Em

For long about ten years now, a group of us in Chicago have been playing Pick 'Em. Over the years, our group has gotten bigger and more diverse. We now have people playing on four continents (and I'm working on Asia!). I assume if anyone is actually reading this blog anymore, they know how this works. But just in case, here's the info:

Pick the winners from the AP Top 25 each week. Rank each game by how confident you are in your pick. You get points for each game you picked correctly. Whoever wins is the smartest. Sound like fun? Of course it does!

Click on this link to join!
Group ID#: 8332
Password: goblue

Obviously, if you're reading this it's in your RSS feed and you're shocked that I've posted anything here at all. Yes, regrettably it has been quite a while since I've had anything to say here. However, I have been busy writing in various other places, most notably Fighting the Youth and Reed's Ramblings. Furthermore, the college football season is just eight days away and the local futbol season began last weekend. So consider this post the declaration that Road Games will be up and running again very, very soon. Until then, saludos!